Can, er, Alicia Keys restore BlackBerry to profitability?

It was with some surprise that we received a missive from the newly-renamed BlackBerry that Alicia Keys, that giant of the technology industry, is appointed as its Global Creative Director.

Hollywood sparkle, here we come.

Pardon us for being more than a little skeptical of star power in flogging smartphones and associated services.

Apple and Samsung seem to have shown that it starts with great customer experiences, backed with hardware that meets muster.

For example, you can’t be churning out handsets with 3.2MP cameras and 633MHz processors when the compo is whacking out 8MP and 1200MHz-plus devices. Just doesn’t have that much appeal, you know.

And if your screen is a dinky little thing, and your app store looks like it was designed by a child and populated with programmes that fail to impress, you’re probably not going to be doing all that well when there are far better options.

Oh, wait, let’s take a look back at recent history, which shows RIM lost 95% of its stock value.

Anyway, we sure do hope that BlackBerry 10 and Alicia take the company to new heights.

Apparently Keys will draw on her tech industry experience to resuscitate BlackBerry’s ecosystem. Among other things, the press release tells us that in her new role, Keys will work closely with app developers, content creators, retailers, carriers and the entertainment community to (press release copy and paste warning): ‘further shape and enhance the BlackBerry 10 platform, and inspire creative use through its remarkable capabilities and functionality.

From music to books, to film, to apps, Keys will lead the charge of enhancing entertainment consumption and distribution, through the power of BlackBerry 10.’

Here’s a quote that an arduous PR person crafted for Ms. Keys. In the interests of reader sanity, we’ve redacted the unnecessary fluff as we seek meaning:

“Staying connected has become a vital part of my creative process,” said Keys.

“I have been using the BlackBerry 10 for a few weeks now, and I’m truly inspired by its innovation. It has entirely revolutionized the experience. I know the potential this platform has to help creative people be more productive, and help productive people be more creative. This is such an incredible age to be living in, with such profound advances in communications and technology. As Global Creative Director, my goal is to inspire creativity with this platform, and I’m so excited to jump right in.”

With such talent at the top, how can BlackBerry not fail?